Previous week we visited a sheep-farm. The owners live from spring to winter outside with the flock. They made a special dinner for us, mush with sheep cheese.
The next week gave me again amazing new revelations.
The speaker was Chris Child from England.
He thought about functional and dysfunctional
He looked at the biblical principles for a normal functioning family and also showed what happens when that does not work properly.
He explained that the family is a foundation of all our life. What happens in the family affects every other areas of society. Bad leadership in the family will lead to bad leadership in Government in fact all the other areas.
Weak family - weak church Strong family - strong church
Weak family - weak economy Strong family - strong economy
Weak family - weak nation Strong family - strong nation
What is the foundation of the family? The marriage.
What is the marriage?
Marriage is a covenant- binding agreement based on promises, what we made to each other, before God, and before witnesses.
A promise to remain closer to that husband/wife physically and emotionally than anyone else. A promise to protect that person even at risk to myself
A promise to share everything with that person (property, money, body)
Marriage is built on unconditional love. I will love you even if you get sick even if you get poor even we can’t have a baby.
Who is the foundation of the marriage? The man/father/husband.
Why is the man and not the woman?
God created the man from the soil of the earth outside from Garden, than put him in the Garden. Here made God the woman from the man. Man has connect to the land. He is a source for the woman. He is a source of love, inheritance, supply. He gives the primer security, value, identity for the children, for the family. He is a giver, the woman is a receiver. The woman receives and improves what the man gives to her.
The woman gives security to the children based on the security what the husband gives to her. The woman builds on what the man gives whether it is good or bad. The man is responsible for creating the atmosphere to which a woman can respond. A woman needs is to feel loved- that gives a sense of security.
“But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of the man, and the husband is the head of his wife, and God is the head of Christ.” (1 Cor 11,3)
So the love in the home comes from God through the husband to the wife and through the husband and wife to the children.
Why marriage is often attacked?
The Devil knows if he destroys the foundations, the whole building will fall down. The Devil is attacking all these three foundations but particularly the husband.
The role of the husband in the family to release the destiny of his wife and children. Giving protection, disciplening the children because he is much more equipped to solve the conflict than the woman. The woman is too sensitive emotionally. She is sensitive for the spiritual and the demonic effect as well. The woman needs to be protecting covering by man. The Devil tempted first the woman and not the man in the Garden of Eden.
The boys get their masculine identity from Dad. (The girls get a lot of their feminine identity from Dad how a Dad responses to his daughter.) If he absent, passive or disfuncional, the manhood not function properly. If a boy is wounded he become stocked or rebell (weak or violent), but never really become a man.
We need to be focusing on building our families.
"The good leave on inheritance to their children's children..." (Proverbs 13,22)
God's purpose is that every generation should climb higher than the previous.
The comfort of childrens come from the parents. The best way to love your children is to love your spouse.
So the marrage relationship affects the parents-child relationship.
If there is a problem in the marriage then sometimes one or both of parents start over focusing on the children trying to compensate for lack of fulfillment in their marriage relationship-The children become the most important thing. So it leads to overprotection.
But the marrige relationship is affected by parent-parent relationship. How did Dad and Mum relate to their parents affects how you relate in their marrige.
"Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother and clings to his wife and they become one flesh."(Gen 2,24)
The emphasis is on the man has to leave his family emotionally and spiritually. If he doesn't, he will have two women in his life. He is pulled between two women. The lack of leaving leads to the lack of closeness in his marrige.
If we don't deal with our problems, the problems will return more after generations as well.
If we don't rule the past, the past rule us!
But we don't have to cope with our problems alone, we don't have to carry our burdens aloGod wants to help, He wants to restore our families. Jesus offeres helping to carry our burdens.
"Come to me, all of you who are tired carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest."
Ask the help from Him!