Our life on the base is always busy. We had youth camp, kids camp, family camp as well. It was good to hear the teenagers' enthusiastic worship. It was good to see the kids playing together with their parents.
One day I went to Sighisoara to cut my hair. At the hair-dresser two people spoke in Hungarian, so next time I could translate to my classmate from English to Hungarian.
In this week I made the dinner for everybody. The menu was certainly Hungarian gulyás and pancake.
In the family camp went on a topic of the family relationships.
In what kind of family did we grow up? In the shame based family or in the blessed based family? What kind of feelings did we bring from our family?
The first purpose in the family: give vision to the children! The vision determines the appetite, the appetite the character, the character the type of life. A people without a vision... perish. (Proverb 29,18)
People who are motivated by vision more often than not seek to excel in the things that they do. People who are motivated by need most often do no more than what they think they have to do.
If the children grow up in the blessed based family, they get the necessary intimacy, the destiny dreams (vision), they will be capable to make healthy decisions. Develops the healthy behavior, this causes joy and the joy results in more new destiny deams.
But if the children grow up in the trauma based, confused family, lose themselves, develops the shame.
Shame is really rejection of yourself. Rather than just the fear of rejection from others, it is more than rejection, it is believing I am not valuable, I am defective, inadequate and bad. If I am not lovable I draw back in the fantasy world, develop the rituals, the wrong behavior, this causes despair and the despair results in more fantasies.
Persistent feelings in the trauma based family: I will never be acceptable, I am a fake, I am always tired and never happy, I am useless, worthless and valueless.
These feelings drive to addictions.
According to scientists in the brain there are a joy center and a pleasure center. Joy is good relationship with the people, with God. Pleasure is relationship with things (food, alcohol, nicotine, drog, money, position, etc.) We are never capable completely satisfy our pleasure center. This center always demands more and more. This center does not have connect with God.
The family has to develop the kids’ joy center. Building joy means getting closer to God and people. Having enough joy strength isfundamental to a kids’ well-being.
Everybody need joyful experiences. Everybody need to hear that he/she is value, special! Speaking the high value! This is a blessing. Give to the kids motivation!
„Training a child in the way he should go” (Proverbs 22,6)
The parents to train up their children according to their own unique capabilities. These abilities God gave to the children.
Ask God’s help to your children’s training!